Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In

Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavishs. Now the landlord there

goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he

will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman

there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin

there's Ryans Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy

you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had

enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All

on the house."

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But

he swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, "did this

actually happen to you..??"

"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman........ "But it did

happen to me sister several times."